


Selfish

by tenser



Category: Free!
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, M/M, Marinka - Freeform, Multi, Pre-established Rin/Haru, Threesome, light exhibitionism, overeager Rin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-18
Updated: 2015-06-18
Packaged: 2018-04-04 22:26:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4155297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenser/pseuds/tenser
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Feel like you’ve got enough energy now?” Rin flirted, his eyebrows raised and eyes purposely half-lidded. A seductive smile exposed sharp teeth.</p><p>Makoto gave a last wistful look at his half-finished beef bowl. “To be honest, I’m not that hungry."<br/>--<br/>Would a relationship between Haru, Makoto and Rin really work? Angst and a lot of sex ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Selfish

**Author's Note:**

> Both this fic and It Doesn't Count if it's Just Rin tackle the same question: would a relationship between Haru, Mako and Rin really work? If the answer in the other fic was yes, then this is the no version. Both fics were written at the same time, but the POV, pre-established couple and scenario are quite different. This is post-season 1. Warning: If you're into MakoHaru, you probably will not enjoy reading this fic.

The three teenage swimmers were seated around a table--Haru at Makoto’s side and Rin across from them--at a cheap beef bowl restaurant. There had initially been talk about going someplace nicer, but three high school boys didn’t have a lot of money to throw around and so they compromised pretty quickly on fast food.

Makoto watched as Rin stabbed a strip of beef with his chopstick, grinding the wooden tip in until it lacerated the flesh and poked out the other side. The piece of meat, stolen from Makoto’s bowl, was just a plaything. The real hunger resided in Rin’s gaze as he looked at the taller boy.

“Feel like you’ve got enough energy now?” Rin flirted, his eyebrows raised and eyes purposely half-lidded. A seductive smile exposed sharp teeth.

Makoto gave a last wistful look at his half-finished beef bowl. “To be honest, I’m not that hungry,” he said sheepishly. Haru ignored them both in the interest of scraping the inside of his cheap plastic bowl for any escaped scraps of fish.

“Suit yourself. I feel like dessert,” Rin said, leaning forward to flip through the plastic-coated pages of the featured items menu.

“We can just get popsicles on the way home,” Makoto said. “Haru and I get them at the convenience store near his house all the time.”

But Rin would not be swayed, and he ordered a dish of ice cream for himself. Makoto didn’t think he could stomach one but at least Haru didn’t order one either, so he didn’t feel awkward. Not at least until Rin started molesting the ice cream with his mouth, raking the spoon filled with creamy white substance across his lips with every bite. Considering Rin didn’t even like sweets, innuendo was certainly his intention.

A glance at Haru revealed that Rin’s lewd display was affecting the normally stoic swimmer. To a passerby Haru might have looked disinterested, but Makoto could read his best friend’s body language as if it were skywriting. The way his hand was sitting on his thigh, how his nose flared and the way he glanced in Rin’s direction every few seconds--yeah, he was turned on.

But the show wasn’t for Haru alone. It was also, and maybe mainly, for Makoto. It was to set the tone for the fantasy of Rin and Haru’s that he’d agreed to participate in that night. Namely, for all three of them to sleep together.

Haru shifted closer to Makoto, Rin’s ice-cream stained mouth making him unconsciously yearn for contact. Haru had never craved body contact before Rin came back into their lives and the two started dating. Makoto and Haru had never had a very physical relationship, half because Haru was not a physical person and half because Makoto was afraid of his own desire to touch the boy he liked so very much.

“You guys ready?” Rin asked, drawing Makoto back to reality. He said yes, and Haru nodded, and they all paid separately. As they walked out of the restaurant, the stylish chains on Rin’s belt jingling, Makoto felt Haru clinging to his body heat, though he was just far enough away to have his freedom. Haru was always out of reach, even on an evening like tonight.

The air was unseasonably warm for late fall, and the sunset added orange tones to the familiar buildings as they walked toward Haru’s house. Rin’s banter quickly drew Haru into responding with curt, kind responses. Makoto felt like the two of them were already in a completely different universe than him. He sort of had to tune it out as they rounded the corner of the stairs up to Haru's house.

Which was probably why he didn’t immediately notice when Rin grabbed his shirt and kissed him. He twitched a moment later, heart rate through the roof, as he realized insistent lips pressed were already pressed against, opening to reveal shark-like teeth. Everything felt so strange and heated--was this what the world Rin and Haru shared was like? He wasn't sure he could handle so much...Rin.

He hadn’t agreed to the threesome because he wanted the Rin part of their private world. He wished he could say that it was because Haru had looked at him with those pleading eyes (he had though) and he had caved to please him. No, even Makoto wasn’t that much of a saint. In fact, he didn’t think he was much of a saint at all. He’d agreed because he wanted to sleep with Haru. Was it really even worth mentioning, that even though Rin was kissing him, he imagined it was Haru? Or worth mentioning that he wasn't sure he'd survive the night?

“Did you like that preview?” Rin purred as he pulled away, allowing everyone to resume walking. Makoto was left with Rin’s musky scent clinging to him, his body unwillingly electrified with fear and something sweet and edged like arousal.

“It was...intense,” Makoto forced a smile and Rin caught the hesitation. “What did you think, Haru?” Makoto asked quickly, fiercely embarrassed.

“Hn,” Haru replied. “Makoto, you blushed a lot.”

“Haru!” Makoto exclaimed, feeling flushed all over again.

For the rest of the walk, the three held hands, with Makoto in the middle, and Rin sidling up to him cozily. But Makoto’s entire being focused on his other hand, the one with slender, cool fingers wrapping around his own for the first time outside of a pool.

When they got in the door of Haru’s house, taking off their shoes felt so routine that Makoto briefly entertained the thought they’d just be playing video games and laughing and being friends.

Then Haru brushed a hand against Rin’s leg as he went up the stairs, Rin leaned down to peck him on the lips and Makoto remembered that they could never be just three friends again. Haru and Rin were a couple. Their fingers lingered against each other’s bodies, even as Rin, smiling, stepped up and into the house, and headed to turn the lights on. It made Makoto’s heart sink, he hated to admit it, every time he saw them together because in his mind, he was the one touching Haru familiarly, smiling.

He must have stopped moving, because Haru turned to him.

“Makoto. Are you okay?”

“Yeah. It’s just a lot to take in,” Makoto said, once again unable to fully conceal his pain with a reassuring smile.

Haru stared at him, his eyebrows raised in concern. Those delicate black arcs that Makoto found utterly beautiful.

“We don’t have to do this,” Haru said, completely serious.

Makoto shook his head. It wasn’t that he wanted to make Haru happy, it wasn’t that he wanted to feel his touch. He already wanted those things every second of every day. He wanted to have this threesome because if he didn’t, Rin and Haru would have sex anyway, without him. They would sit together, here, tonight, in Haru’s big empty house, and lean against each other and touch one another and smile and Makoto would cease to exist for Haru.

Makoto wanted to exist.

“Are you scared?” Haru asked.

Makoto nodded. And then, unexpectedly, Haru stepped over the pile of discarded shoes and stood in front of him. Grasped his hand lightly. Gazed up at his face with breathtaking concern.

Then turned his head to the side, wearing an expression of slight flush that Makoto had only ever seen him use with Rin.

“Haru?” Makoto questioned softly. Before the question was out, the other boy looked up at him. The light from the hallway cast his face in shadow, adding an ethereal shimmer to his dark blue eyes. But even in the dim light he caught a look of care, of trust. Then, as if in slow motion, Haru’s eyelids slid shut and he leaned up to meet Makoto’s lips.

Only after their lips pressed chastely together did Makoto realize that his eyes had closed. That felt dirty somehow, as if in giving up sight he’d given in completely to his unseemly desires. A puff of warm air graced his lips as Haru pulled away. Makoto thought he’d remember the warmth of that sigh the rest of his life.

“Mmm, that looks nice,” Rin said from the hallway.

Makoto jumped. He felt so embarrassed that Rin had seen his first kiss with Haru. “Riiin…” he whined, covering his heated face.

“C’mon, Mako, you have to know how good you look,” Rin continued, not quite catching the mood. When neither Haru or Makoto moved or spoke, he must have figured something out, because he sighed. “Whatever, see you guys in the living room.”

At the sound of Rin’s retreating footsteps and the sliding door, Makoto shakily opened his eyes.

“We shouldn’t do this,” Haru said, frowning.

“No, I can do it,” Makoto insisted. _I can’t give up now that we’ve finally kissed._

“Okay,” Haru said.

Trembling but determined to show his resolve, Makoto placed his hands on Haru’s slim shoulders and leaned down for another kiss. Haru opened his mouth readily, and their tongues loosely brushed before deepening the kiss. All the grace, strength, and timing Haru commanded in the pool transferred to his kisses. Which meant that Haru was a very good kisser. Not that Makoto would have been anything but entranced by the situation. His existence funneled down to the slick space where their breath and mouths meshed.

His heart was beating so fast it had to be audible. He was dizzy, lost. The only anchor tethering him to reality was...nothing, really. His hands drinking the heat of Haru’s shoulders, their mouths joined--it all had to be a dream.

Then it struck Makoto that he was being so selfish. He hadn’t thought to find out how Haru liked to be kissed. In most things in life, Makoto figured out the other boy’s likes and dislikes, maybe at first just so he could steer clear of ever making him mad. Because Haru mad was frightening. At first, making Haru happy had been a defense mechanism to placate his terrifying moody friend, but as the years wore on, creating that happiness began to become an addictive reward of its own.

Reluctantly, he broke the kiss and opened his eyes to see if Haru was pleased and was met with the other’s serene, flushed face. Definitely happy.

Haru kissed him again, then led them both to the living room table.

Rin rose up from a lazy lounging position, grinning.

“Having fun already?”

“Don’t be stupid,” Haru said. Makoto felt a rush of affection at Haru’s protectiveness.

“Tch,” Rin ruffled his own hair. “You do know what we’re here to do, right? I hope someone’s having fun.” He fixed his bright red eyes on Makoto. “So let’s discuss the rules.”

Leave it to Rin to simultaneously throw everyone out of their comfort zone and then attempt to harness the chaos. This was just like the elementary school relay all over again, except this time Rin was the ringleader of something far more dangerous.

“Yes, we should do that,” Makoto agreed. He didn’t have another choice.

With the three boys each occupying a side of Haru’s low table, it almost seemed like they were equals in this, three separate parties all coming to a mutually agreeable conclusion. As Rin laid out what he wanted and expected, Makoto found himself nodding and not contributing much.

“Makoto,” Rin looked at him. “That’s pretty much what I’m comfortable with. What about you?”

“Well,” Makoto stared at the floor in embarrassment. “I want to be able to touch Haru.”

Haru nodded. Rin continued, “Okay, but more specifics on that? ‘Touching only,’ like a handjob?”

“No!” Makoto shouted, flushing at the dirty word. “I mean, yes! I mean, Haru can do whatever he wants to me, and I’ll do...anything he wants me to do to him. More than just touching.”

Rin smiled, and it was strangely kind even with his cocked eyebrows. “Haru, you cool with that?”

Haru nodded. “I’d like to be able to touch Makoto. Anything he wants.”

Makoto almost cried. Those were words he’d never thought he’d hear, words of desire coming from Haru, directed at him.

“And I’d like Makoto to be inside you,” Haru said, looking at Rin.

For the first time that evening, Rin wore a look of pure shock and embarrassment. But Makoto could hardly focus on it because he was just as taken aback by the intimate act the request required of him.

“You asked what I wanted,” Haru said defensively.

“Yeah, just...maybe you could have said something sooner,” Rin replied, still as red as his hair.

“I thought that was what we were supposed to discuss here,” Haru said, frowning.

“It’s okay!” Makoto panicked, seeing Haru upset. “You couldn’t really discuss it before I was here, and now I’m here, so… ha ha.”

Rin mumbled something, but regained his composure. “I’m out of practice, but it’s not like Haru doesn’t have lube. I just hope I can take everything you’ve got in those pants.”

Rin talked about some other stuff, but Makoto was looking at Haru. Why did he want to see his boyfriend being taken by someone else? Did Rin not actually matter to him? Do I matter?

Haru noticing, sending a message of _I am thinking of you, I want this_ when Rin interrupted.

“If you guys are done fucking each other with your eyes again, let’s start the actual fucking.”

“I’m taking a bath first,” Haru announced, already getting up.

Rin was annoyed. “If you take more than a half hour, I’ll lock you in there.”

“I’d like to see you try,” came the answer from the hall, just before the door shut.

Makoto wasn’t sure if he should be proud that he didn’t have any difficulty getting Haru out of the bath. “He’s always in there too long,” Makoto laughed.

“You’re telling me,” Rin said. “I tried to at least get him to take a hot bath, but he said it didn’t feel right.”

Makoto laughed. “I’ve been getting him out of the bath every morning before school for years. I used to think he slept in there.”

“He actually sleeps in bed like a normal person. I was surprised about that too,” Rin said quietly. He turned that soft gaze to Makoto. “Thanks, you know. For looking after him all these years.” Rin smiled to himself. “You saved him.”

Makoto grew extremely uncomfortable under Rin’s praise. “I care about him,” he said carefully. “I couldn’t abandon him.”

The air grew heavy. Makoto didn’t blame Rin, really, for destroying Haru. He hadn’t even known about it until recently. What he did resent him for was coming back. For up-ending the private world Makoto had created to keep Haru safe. He liked Rin, but he hated how he’d shredded that sanctuary.

Except for the fact that now Haru smiled.

“Thanks to you too,” Makoto said. “He’s been a lot happier since you came back.” It cut like a knife to admit it, but the words were true. And even now, faced with this crazy threesome, he felt dependent on Rin for Haru’s happiness.

“You’re the one he always turns to,” Rin replied, “when he can’t handle me anymore. I’m not the easiest person in the world to deal with sometimes. But you’re always there for him.”

“I try to be,” Makoto admitted.

“Hey, enough about Haru,” Rin said, shifting toward Makoto’s side of the table.

As Rin prowled towards him like a predatory cat, Makoto’s first thoughts weren’t whether or not he found the slinking of Rin’s heavily muscled shoulders attractive (of course they were), or whether he was ready to have that body touch his again (he wasn’t). It was whether Haru would be less upset about joining them in the living room or the bedroom. If they were in the bedroom, Haru wouldn’t have to do anything other than show up in his towel. He’d like that better than having to move rooms.

“L-Let’s go to the bedroom,” Makoto stuttered, actually placing a hand to Rin’s lips to keep his mouth at bay.

Rin blinked in surprise before backing off and offering Makoto a hand up. “Yeah, sure.”

Once they were in the bedroom, Makoto squeezed himself against the headboard and Rin stripped off his outer shirt and crawled up his body.

“So, you think Haru wants to find us this way?” Rin grinned toothily. At the renewed proximity of the other boy’s body, Makoto started getting nervous all over again.

“A-Aren’t you nervous?” Makoto asked.

Rin raised an eyebrow, then ran a trembling hand through his hair. “Yeah, I am. But, I think of it this way. If we don’t do this, we’ll always wonder, right?”

“Wonder what?” Relief was replaced by confusion.

“If we could all be together,” Rin said.

Fear gripped Makoto’s heart. Was a three-way relationship something that Rin had made up on his own, or was Haru the source of the idea? And if so, was that why Rin’d been insistent on seeing this through--for Haru’s sake? Even if it meant Haru liked Makoto (and he wouldn’t let himself believe that) it also meant he liked Rin (of course he did, they were dating!) and somehow the grand total of the thing made him depressed and anxious.

“I never really saw things like that. It seems like it might be hard,” Makoto said, looking away.

“We’ve come this far. Let’s find out,” Rin said, and closed the distance between them with a delicate kiss. His hands carded Makoto’s choppy hair. He hadn’t noticed earlier but Rin was a good kisser too, and even though it made him warm and melty it also made him sad to learn how Haru had gotten so good.

But despite everything, Rin was a good kisser, and it sent tingles down his spine. The other boy licked down his neck hungrily, nipping as he went, one hand everywhere in Makoto’s hair and the other curving along his side. It still felt strange to feel Rin doing this to him, but it wasn’t as scary as earlier.

While he was wondering if he needed to reciprocate, a sixth sense alerted Makoto that Haru was in the room, and his eyes blinked open. Sure enough, Haru stood in the doorway, completely naked except for a towel he rubbed against his damp hair. Rin caught the change too, and looked.

“You didn’t waste time getting dressed,” the redhead couldn’t seem to help the snarky comment.

“Too much effort,” Haru said. “Don’t stop.”

Makoto whined as Rin redoubled his efforts, hand now snaking up his shirt and lips working his collarbone. The bed creaked as Haru climbed on, the weight of three athletic boys straining its springs. Makoto smelled Haru before he saw him, that bathsoap scent far too innocent for the scene. Haru kissed Rin’s head and licked his ear before looking up at Makoto expectantly.

Kissing Haru was exquisite. His mouth was so accepting, Makoto even explored the cavity just a little with his tongue. The other hummed in response, and suddenly the room was much too warm. He tilted his head back to let his mouth be entered more fully.

“Fuck, Makoto, these abs,” came Rin’s voice from below. Haru kissed harder, excited by the praise where Makoto simply shook under it.

While Haru kissed him, Rin succeeded in shedding Makoto’s pants, pushing up his shirt, and stripping him of his underwear.

“Shit,” came the incredulous praise. “You’re hung.”

Haru broke the kiss to look, and that was a thousand times more embarrassing than Rin pointing out something he already knew.

“Mm,” Haru agreed, and without asking, grazed a finger against his half-hard length.

Makoto gasped, his heart thundering at the sensation and also the realization that Haru had been the first person ever to touch his most private of parts. Rin, never one to be outdone, bent down to flick the tip with his tongue. When Makoto flinched at the strange sensation, he only grinned and licked a longer stripe.

Haru watched with great interest, which didn’t help anything. Or rather, it helped Rin get a bigger mouthful of cock as it quickly swelled. The black-haired boy only managed to watch a little while before bending down and dragging his tongue along the shaft too.

Makoto had seen competition flare up between the two rivals in the pool, but now their competitiveness took the form of whose tongues and fingers could pull a better reaction from him. For someone who’d never had their cock sucked before, the flurry of licking and sucking was way too intense. The room started to get wobbly and his ears filled with cotton.

“I said stop!” Rin growled, shoving Haru away with one arm. “What are we gonna do if Makoto comes?”

“Then finger yourself already,” Haru glared.

“Tch! Ungrateful,” Rin snarled.

“G-guys, guys,” Makoto cautioned, his voice much shakier than he would have liked.

Rin and Haru looked at each other, the spite melting as quickly as it had erupted. Rin shook his head and picked up the lube Haru had thoughtfully displayed on the nightstand. Leaning back with legs open for everyone’s view, he squirted some clear, slick liquid on his fingers and rubbed them against the pucker under his balls.

Makoto’s view was quickly blocked by Haru straddling him. The other boy took his mouth ravenously, and Makoto let him have every inch, sliding his tongue out of the way so the other could explore. His lips tingled where they met and he could barely remember to breathe.

With a grunt, Haru broke their liplock, suddenly distracted by Rin’s fingers toying with his entrance. The wet sounds reached Makoto’s ears, which would have given the game away even if Haru wasn’t suddenly rocking at a pace that suggested he was being touched from behind.

“Shut up, I just felt like it,” Rin said, to Haru apparently. “You wanted to see me get fucked but you don’t watch the fingering, huh? Serves you right. Plus you blocked the view.”

“Stupid,” Haru mumbled into Makoto’s neck, but didn’t stop rocking, digging his cock into Makoto’s abs with every swing. His fingers burned indents into Makoto’s arms as he clung to hold himself up and spread wider.

“H-Haru,” Makoto said, wincing. He couldn’t bring himself to say It hurts, stop because Haru looked so pleasure-drunk and beautiful, but the crescents of his nails really might be drawing blood. And then he looked directly at Makoto with such need that he drowned the pain in a passionate, sloppy kiss instead.

The pain on one side disappeared as Haru grabbed Makoto’s hand and brought it to his erection. Makoto whimpered as it slid into his palm. The weight of someone else’s real cock was strange, but wonderful, and he grasped the length eagerly. Feeling Haru in his hand was an unexpected gift--for some reason he hadn’t really given thought to the idea it would actually happen. For his part, Haru bucked into the touch, craving the friction.

“You’re going to come if you do that, Haru,” Rin smiled, now positioned behind his boyfriend. Rin clearly was enjoying teasing him, rubbing his lubed-up hard-on against his boyfriend’s ass.

“I don’t care,” Haru said.

“I think you’d rather come like _this_ ,” Rin thrust in, and Makoto felt the full-body tremble as Haru’s body tensed around the intrusion. Every muscle tensed and his erection flagged.

“Haru! Are you okay?” Makoto responded reflexively to Haru’s pain. “Rin!”

“Sorry, Makoto, he’s fine,” Rin said. His breath was coming heavy--penetrating Haru had greatly accelerated his arousal. It seemed Makoto was more upset and shocked than either of them.

“Shut up,” Haru responded. His chest rose and fell rapidly.

Makoto asked him if he was okay again, and the answer was Haru bringing Makoto’s hand to his dick and encouraging him to stroke. His initial apprehension gave way as it became clear how much Haru enjoyed Rin’s thrusts. Makoto grew bolder and his strokes more confident. Just as he was worrying that their contact was drying out and painful, Rin slapped a lube-wet hand over his, transferring the goo.

“There’s more lube behind me,” Rin informed.

“R-Right,” said Makoto. Despite the embarrassment of the reminder that Rin knew his way around while he didn’t, he kept going. It did feel much better with the lubrication, and he prided himself on a happy gasp from Haru. He looked like he was enjoying himself so much, and Makoto couldn’t do anything except marvel in the feel of Haru’s sweat-slicked body against his, his full erection in his hand. He wondered what it would be like when Haru came.

Haru raised his head, trailing slick black hair against Makoto’s collarbone. But he wasn’t looking to speak to him.

“D-Don’t come,” Haru cautioned Rin.

“Yeah, okay,” came a softer reply than Makoto had heard yet. He glanced up at Rin for the first time to see the other boy glistening with sweat, his chest flush and eyes barely open. He had one hand on each asscheek and thrust in a medium, regular tempo. Once he noticed Makoto’s eyes on him, he winked. “It’s up to you to make him come.”

Makoto’s pulse spiked. He wanted that honor, wanted it so badly, and Rin had given him permission. But he didn’t really know what to do to push Haru over the edge. He stroked faster, concentrating on the head. Haru let go of his arm and laid his full weight on Makoto’s shoulder.

They said people had “tells,” ticks that indicated impending orgasm. But there never was anything like that for Haru, and no cries of pleasure. Simply Makoto felt something warm against his wrist, and then it was coating his hand. He cupped the tip of Haru’s cock and caught the last spurts coming out. Makoto’s heart swelled as Haru became lost in a pleasure daze above him.

Rin, somehow, seemed to know that Haru had come, and stopped thrusting. Quicker than he would have liked, Rin rolled the exhausted swimmer off of Makoto.

“Hey, idiot,” Rin flicked his forehead. Haru grumbled but didn’t open his eyes or move. He was pretty much catatonic.

“Haru, are you okay?” Makoto asked.

“Yeah, he’s fine,” Rin sighed. “When he’s too stimulated he passes out like this. He’ll be awake in a few. Guess that means we need to put things on hold for a second.” He continued to stare at Haru, and the loving look in his eyes making Makoto happy, but also pretty jealous.

“Let’s clean him up,” Makoto said, a fake smile edging unto his face. He wanted something safe and familiar, like taking care of Haru, to do.

“Guess he’s not going to get dirty again.” Rin mused, languidly stroking his own cock as he lounged next to his lover.

Makoto stumbled to the bathroom, expertly located a hand-towel, and returned with it wet. Rin stopped petting Haru’s head and sidled away when Makoto returned. The intimacy between the two of them had been growing clearer the whole night, but then, wasn’t Makoto intimate with Haru too? He was wiping down his nearly-unconscious body, the way a parent might wipe a sick child.

Parent and child. Was that their relationship?

No. Just minutes before Haru had been directing his hand to grasp his cock.

But not lovers. Rin was his lover.

Friends? Friends didn’t have crushes on each other for years, or ask each other to sleep--

Rin’s hand on his back drew him out of the downward spiral of his thoughts.

“Almost done,” Makoto laughed.

“Not with me, you’re not,” Rin fixed a feral smile on him. It made Makoto jump. If only Rin wasn’t so pointedly interested in him, this all would have been so much easier. They could have waited for Haru to get up, and then they could go downstairs. Instead, Rin arched his back and pulled Makoto over him.

“Wonder what it’s going to feel like to have that big dick of yours inside me,” Rin bit his lip sinfully.

“But Haru’s not awake yet-- You said to wait-- I didn’t think you wanted it,” Makoto stammered.

“He’ll wake up in a minute and be happy to see it,” Makoto caught the air of the little brat Rin had always been, trying to get away with everything he could. “It’s what he wanted. And I guess I got excited thinking about it too.”

The way Rin phrased things made Makoto suddenly realize that he had no say in the matter. He’d never really had a say in anything about this evening; his consent was in name only. He was just a tool to be used to please Haru, and Rin by extension. It didn’t seem fair, but he couldn’t really argue that he’d always been in this position, long before this night began. He wasn’t being tied down or forced, except by his own needy emotions and general lack of self-respect. The realization made him a little sad, but what was the use of ruminating on his weaknesses when his friends needed him?

“So fuck me,” Rin said, aiming a seductive gaze at Makoto’s cock before fixing it on the man himself.

“Let’s go slow? I’ve never done this before,” Makoto said. In lieu of not being able to say no, it was the most he felt he could ask for.

Rin made him put his fingers in first and move them around. His insides were soft and slick, and it was shocking how easily he opened under the intrusion. He threw back his head and lightly fingered the tip of his cock, coaxing Makoto to put in more, go deeper.

About the time he felt that Rin had to be prepared, Haru twitched into awareness. Whatever sort of pornographic image they cut must’ve satisfied him, because he cutely pulled nearby covers up over his mouth and nose, his bright blue eyes fixed on them.

“Pay attention,” Rin grinned. “I’m about to get fucked by your best friend’s cock.”

“Riiiin...” Makoto whined.

“It’s time for the main event,” Rin said, ignoring Makoto’s protest. Laying down and balancing his weight on his shoulders, he thrust his hips up about a foot off the bed, in line with Makoto’s cock. Haru shuffled, quietly observing.

Stagefright wouldn’t be exactly how to put it, but there was no other way to explain what Makoto was feeling with two sets of eyes fixed on him, waiting for the performance of a lifetime. He hadn’t had time to touch himself while he’d been fingering Rin and he wasn’t quite as hard as he’d been earlier. He didn’t even know if he should attempt anything with such a softie.

He pressed the head of his cock against Rin’s entrance but his softened cock slipped up and around and everywhere but in. Panicking, he gripped himself further and tried pressing in, but it just wouldn’t go. Rin’s hole quivered against his cock, confused at the sensation, making Makoto panic more.

“Quit teasing,” Rin moaned, oblivious.

“Stop,” Haru said.

“I’m sorry!” Makoto collapsed, covering his hands with his face. “I can’t do it!”

“Huh?” Rin’s legs dropped to the bed as he looked up, genuinely confused.

“Don’t panic,” Haru said calmly. And in a nonsensical mirror of his advice to Rei about swimming he added, “Accept your arousal.”

“That’s no help!” Makoto was becoming near hysterical. Haru had only wanted one thing, and he couldn’t provide it. Not being able to give Haru what he wanted was 100% guaranteed to make Makoto panic.

“What are you talking about?” Rin said, sitting up.

Haru ignored the redhead, looking deep into Makoto’s eyes. “Lay down, I’ll do it.”

Makoto started to protest, but Haru would have none of it, and made Rin scoot aside so that Makoto’s large frame fit flat on the bed. He gave Rin a look.

“Keep touching yourself,” he instructed Rin. Then he bent down and took Makoto in his mouth.

Just a few strokes of Haru’s mouth and Makoto wanted to come hard. He wanted to feel the corners of Haru’s mouth stretching at his girth. He wanted to jet semen across Haru’s lips and over his tongue. The sensation was more arousing than anything he could think of, and his erection was hard and healthy moments after.

“Looks good already,” Rin commented. “You’re easy.”

“Get on top of him,” Haru abandoned his oral ministrations long enough to command Rin.

“You want me to ride him?! I don’t know if I can,” Rin trailed off. “I mean, look at how big he is.”

“I don’t, ahh, want to hurt anyone,” Makoto said, although he meant it as much for the nasty thoughts he had of fucking Haru’s mouth than for Rin’s personal safety.

“Tch,” Rin crawled over to Makoto and straddled him, pushing Haru’s face out of the way. “Fine, watch me. This is what you wanted to see?”

Rin’s muscular thighs tightened against Makoto’s. His impressive chest was painted pink with the flush of arousal and his cock stood stiffly in the air. A general sheen of lube glistened between his thighs. Rin looked down at him like a prince at a subject.

“Never say I never did anything for you,” he grinned, and then lowered himself around Makoto’s cock.

Rin groaned and tensed when he was penetrated, and Makoto felt a similar spike of incredible arousal. If there was any doubt about whether Rin could take his cock, it was answered with a resounding yes as he slowly sat until his ass met Makoto’s thighs. If he hadn’t just had Haru’s mouth around his cock, he imagined the sensation of being contained and gripped so fully would have caused him to orgasm instantaneously. But maybe not--it was Rin he was with now, not Haru. And the sensation was strange as it was arousing. His body ran hot and cold, and he was hyper aware of every part of it.

Soon Rin was working Makoto’s cock, sliding himself up and down its length. Makoto grasped his thighs to make it easier, and soon the two of them were having (somewhat slow, somewhat awkward) actual intercourse. Rin bobbed around his cock, beautiful with abandon. When Makoto let the sensations carry him, he found he was aroused seeing the redhead like this, although it was also crazy and scary. As if to prevent Makoto from falling prey to panic, Haru linked hands with him. That gave Makoto strength to continue. But that wasn’t Haru’s only intent. He also wanted to voice another request.

“From behind,” he said to Rin.

“You jerk,” Rin retorted, through heaving breaths.

“I want to see it,” Haru insisted.

As always, Rin complained but complied. He climbed off Makoto and onto all fours. His back stretched out, beautiful and sinewy, his head down and submissive while he opened his legs once more to let Makoto settle between them.

When he pressed in this time, it felt different, tighter. Rin noticed it too, and moaned. Haru snaked a hand in between their legs to feel the join, then to stroke Rin. A string of nonsense and curses fell from Rin’s mouth.

As Rin started to collapse and twitch, sweat dripping down his spine, Makoto hoped Haru’s fantasy didn’t included Makoto coming inside the other boy. Although he was stiff, thank goodness, he didn’t feel any sense of impending climax.

“Come,” Haru commanded, but thankfully it wasn’t directed at Makoto.

In a striking display of obedience, Rin did just that. His body clenched around Makoto’s cock as he spurted a stream of white fluid into Haru’s waiting hand. The moment of ecstasy seemed to last barely seconds, after which Makoto stilled and Haru rubbed his partner’s back.

Makoto pulled out and sat back. Rin pulled the other two down into a post-orgasmic cuddle pile. With nothing more expected of him, relief pooled inside Makoto. He’d done what he was supposed to. Rin wouldn’t try to get anything more out of him. Haru had come, and everything had gone according to plan. The fact that Makoto hadn’t come was inconsequential, right? They could go back to being regular friends sooner this way.

“The dolphin one is good,” Haru suddenly broke the silence. “We have toys.”

“Why are you telling him that?” Rin growled, while Makoto let out a squeak.

“I’m fine!”

“We both had something inside us, but Makoto didn’t,” Haru said.

“That doesn’t mean he wants anything like that, idiot,” Rin chided. “Do you, Makoto?”

“No! I mean, it looked like you both enjoyed it, but I don’t think I’m, um, ready for something like that,” Makoto stuttered. He was more concerned that they were back in sexual territory, when it looked like he’d finally gotten an out. But still…maybe this was Haru’s way of offering to get him off. And wasn’t that really what he’d agreed to this whole thing for? The part of him that was anything but a saint thought so.

And yes...he felt like being selfish. Going back to being just friends was safe, but it wasn’t necessary, just yet.

“Um,” his face flushed. “But if you want to use something on me, it would be okay. Or you could use your hands.”

“Oh?” Rin perked up. “So you do want something. Which it it--toy or hands?”

“Hands,” Makoto reluctantly admitted. “Um, just with you, Haru.”

“Okay,” Haru nodded and climbed over Rin, who’d somehow managed to wiggle his way into the middle.

They kissed first, much more comfortably than the first time not more than an hour or two before. Haru leaned on top of Makoto, their bodies flush except for a bubble for Haru to fit his hand around Makoto’s cock. It was still slick with lube from being inside Rin, and his hand flew over it gracefully.

Makoto’s focus narrowed to the sensation of Haru’s body against his, his wonderful hand doing wonderful things. Yet his dirty mind pushed another layer of fantasy onto him, in which the other boy was still against him but his body was around his cock. It wasn’t hard to replay the fresh sensation of Rin riding him and overlay Haru onto it. The vision of fantasy penetration goaded him on, and he was desperately ashamed by his own desires but also incredibly turned on at the same time.

Haru bent down to kiss his chest, and Rin replaced him at Makoto’s mouth. It was then Makoto surprised himself. He placed his hand against Rin’s lips to stop him. “Just Haru.”

Rin gave him a bemused look, but backed away. It was clear he wasn’t used to being told no, a fact that Makoto was well aware of. He looked away, embarrassed, but decided not to give in. And for some reason, Rin decided not to push it.

“Good for you,” the redhead said.

It made the fantasy even better to pretend that in that statement Rin had given him Haru. Relinquished all control and granted sole custodianship of Haru’s pleasure to Makoto. But that bright spot cast a deep dark shadow called reality, and the subsequent emotional pain was only overridden by the pleasure Haru was giving him.

The stimulation was too good, and he felt orgasm pooling in his gut. Haru nipped at his nipples, all the while tugging on his cock. He was going to come, and he had to tell Haru, had to let him know, but he wasn’t sure why anymore. And yet, Haru knew anyway. He knew Makoto’s body, he realized, and so he pumped hard, building a dramatic sensation that stole his breath away.

When he came, despite being surrounded by bodies, he felt safe. It was the familiar land of orgasm he’d felt many times before by himself, though now it was out in the open. Yet, it was okay. Two people he was very fond of, one of whom he loved with all his heart, were the only witnesses. The dark shadow of guilt and shame was obliterated by blinding pleasure.

Post-orgasm, he let himself dwell in affection. He treasured the soft kiss Haru planted on his lips, and even the one from Rin. He let himself be wiped down by Haru’s gentle hands. And when Haru turned off the light and pulled the covers over them, he let his hand join with Haru’s. It didn’t matter if Rin, on the other side, was doing the same thing. He was warm and happy and with people he cared about.

The next morning, he woke up in a haze of red hair. Haru was nowhere to be seen.

“He’s taking a bath,” Rin mumbled.

“Right.”

Early morning sounds of birds chirping and the distant noise of buses and foot traffic filtered in with the morning light. Yet somehow his heart was as hollow as the light. Ripples of the doubts from last night washed over him, stealing what warmth remained. The time for being selfish was over. Even the echoes of pleasure sounded tinny when re-tuned in the morning’s reality.

“Let’s do that again sometime,” Rin said.

“Of course. If Haru wants,” Makoto said, although he wanted to say _No, it hurts too much._ The waves of aching pain crashed against his heart and were only growing stronger and wouldn’t stop.

“I want it too,” Rin said, beaming at the ceiling, his naked chest exposed. The morning he saw must have been far warmer and brighter.

Maybe one day he’d be able to say it. He’d be able to say _I love you Haru_ and wake up alone with him. Without Rin’s bright smile to cast dark shadows. But today, all he could say was,

“I’d love to.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Amberemerald for the beta!


End file.
